by Brian A. Wilkins
3/3/2010 (links updated November 6, 2018)
As many of you know, the federal lawsuit vs. Mea Culpa County and Joke Arpaio I filed last year is now in the discovery stages, which led me to a first actual court appearance yesterday for what is called a Rule 16 Conference. I guess this is the stage where attorneys and parties are supposed to use the proverbial “I cannot comment on pending litigation” jazz, but the truth of the matter is, I have absolutely nothing to hide, as everything being litigated in this lawsuit has already been written in the 55 Days In Maricopa County Jail series. So here are 5 things you should know about what’s happening now:
1. Three times during this Rule 16 Conference – which, unusually, was held in chambers without a court reporter present – U.S. Magistrate Judge Lawrence O. Anderson referred to DEFENDANT ARPAIO as “Sheriff Joe.” I find it unusual that a federal judge would be on a first-name basis with a defendant…especially where the Plaintiff is sitting right in front of him. However, Anderson was a Maricopa County judge from 1990-1998, so this was fully expected, but still disturbing.
2. Anderson and counsel for Maricopa County, Sherle Rubin Flaggman, took at least 10 minutes of the hour-long conference talking about old Maricopa County court and prosecutor stories. Anderson would also compare me to County Attorney pansy Andy Thomas at one point (which is where he lost most credibility with me). Until genetic testing is done on pansy Andy, we can’t even be sure he’s really a man, so the comparison is obviously way off base.
3. Speaking of Flaggman, that woman needs to get laid, seriously. The only thing she has going for her is a cute-as-hell paralegal who has been at her side every time I’ve seen her. This lady seems to have some sort of personal vendetta against me, and continues to try and obtain my entire medical history beyond the scope of the lawsuit (the broken hand and blood pressure meds). Not that I have anything to hide (except for maybe that Viagra prescription from back in like 2005, after a broken heart temporarily broke my manhood), but the fact HIPAA laws only authorize the “minimun necessary” for litigation, she will follow this, even if I have to ask the Ninth Circuit for their opinion. Regardless, she seems to have Judge Anderson in her hip-pocket, which will make for some interesting times ahead.
4. The ironic, bizarro twist to all this is that one of two things can be said about Arpaio’s attorney, S. Lee White: she’s either a seemingly decent human being (though competitive, which is her job), or is trying to play me for the dope-fiend to catch me sleeping at some point in this thing. You would think the roles of Flaggman and White would be reversed, since Flaggman’s “personality” if you will is more congruent with that of Joke Arpaio’s.
5. The filthy, nasty, homo Maricopa County jail guard who grabbed my nuts during that now infamous body search while I was in that jail is named Darren Dauch. His name will be added to an Amended Complaint in the next week as a defendant. I’m sure all his MCSO buddies will come to his defense and testify how nice of a person he is; how he has a family; and how he’s of high moral character. Well, so were former Colorado evangelical pastor Ted Haggard, former Florida congressman Mark Foley, and former Idaho U.S. Senator Larry Craig.
UPDATE: Wilkins Federal Habeas Corpus Part 2 and Sherle Flaggman’s Criminal [Ex]-Husband (6/22/2010)